Wine not?: A roundup of wine-related puns

Guys, I love wine puns.  (And whine wouldn't I?  My bachelorette party was themed Chardy Cardi Party... you go to wineries, sipping Chardonnay while wearing your cutest cardigan.  Duh.)  Basically, in my life I'm always thisclose to buying this t-shirt:

Because I'm not quite up for that purchase (and also because I know it's going to fit a little weird and a little 2002-ish), I've decided to fulfill my desires by compiling a small list of wine-related puns for your enjoyment:

• You should lock up your wine in a cabernet.
• Resigned to my fate, I bought 24 cases of red.  It was a case of syrah, syrah.
• Stop and smell the rosè.
• Forgive me, for I have zinned.
• I like to cook with wine.  Sometimes I even put it in the food!
• How "merlot" can you go?
• Wine: It's why I get out of bed every afternoon
• Women cannot live by chocolate alone.  That's why there's wine.
• Wine is the answer.  What was the question? [ed: this is my favorite -- I like to say it with a lot of expression, like I really mean it.]

Alright bye, guys!  And by "bye" I mean I'm off to "bye" wine!  Muahahahhaha!!!!

Some lovely places

Guys, I wouldn't mind going to any of these places... nope, not one bit!

:: a grove of Aspens ::

:: a library in Stockholm :: 

:: Bjork's private island off the coast of Iceland, via the Chive ::

Trend Prediction: Grandma Glasses

Do you guys think grandma glasses will be the new nerd glasses??

:: via elsiecake ::

I mean, I can totally see Zooey Deschanel pulling this one off.

Wise Words: on Flatware

After registering for a set of flatware (and receiving a bunch of sets), I decided that the teaspoon was waaay too big (and guys, it was) and returned them all.  So Travis and I started looking for flatware we could buy with our Williams-Sonoma/Pottery Barn store credit and found these guys:

:: Maxfield Flatware, Pottery Barn ::

I thought they were pretty lovely (and dishwasher safe,) but said to Travis, "I dunno... I kind of think I'll get bored with them?"

To which he replied...

"Sweetheart, if you're getting bored of you're silverware, you're in a very weird place."

Wise Words!

J. Crew's Biggest Practical Joke Yet...

Guys,

I love J. Crew.  Sometimes I wish my life was a version of "From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler," only instead of staying overnight in the Metropolitan Museum of Art (which would be seriously cool), I get to stay overnight in a very well-stocked J. Crew (which would be seriously, seriously cool.)  The styling of the J. Crew catalogues have taught me many things...
- I can wear punchy colored nail polish and not look like a tramp (provided my nails are very short)!
- I need, need, need some coral lipstick, stat!
- Rolling up the sleeves of a sweater or any other knit looks very fresh and smart!
- When in doubt, throw a belt over the waist!
- Why buy any old coat when you can buy a super cute lemon yellow coat?!

I could go on, but I won't.

But because I look forward to 10 minutes of escapism and aspirational lifestyle when the catalogue arrives, you'll understood that I felt I was being punked when I saw the November catalogue.  Guys... is J. Crew screwing with us?  Will the December catalogue say "HAHA... got you!!!!"?  Because this stuff is seriously strange.  Examples below (these are from the lookbook part of the website, but you get the gist):

:: You can't deny these are some very strange pants ::

:: When you want to go to work and are going for a 1930s heinous thing ::

:: Again, bizarre pants ::

:: Because everyone wants pants that are super ill-fitting, not cute-fitting.  Also, gloves. ::

:: Oh, perfect!  This is the length I always want my skirts to be! ::

Seriously?!  What is going on?  Where has my beloved J. Crew gone?  Does Jenna Lyons know it's not even close to April Fools?

Sad.

Bye!

Bananas for Banana Art!

Before I show you this incredible strange banana art, I have to say that I think bananas are basically the grossest thing in the entire world.  They are mushy and wet and stringy and smelly and leave behind disgusting rinds that are strange and floppy.  I want nothing to do with them.

BUT, I do want something to do with this wild banana art!  Have you seen it?!  It's so weird and creepy... I love it!  (But not enough to eat a banana.)

Pics from Daily Onigiri

The artist uses toothpicks and a spoon to make his art and completes each piece in under 30 minutes before the bananas turn brown (ew, another gross thing about bananas...).

Bye!

Pumpkins!!!

Usually I will try my darnedest to get out of theme parties, especially if it involves costumes or a mandatory craft.  (Like, can’t we just hang out normal-style?)  But when our buddies Pete and Ali invited us over to carve pumpkins on Sunday, I couldn’t say no.  

1. They are literally the most adorable people in the world.

2. It was last minute, so I had no time to get nervous about it.

3. It was their baby’s due date, so they wanted to keep busy while Ali wasn’t going into labor… how can you say no to that?!

Guys, spoiler alert: carving pumpkins is seriously, seriously fun.  

Travis and I were nervous because two of these friends are artists for a living.  I don’t want to be carving no pumpkin around people who make a living off of visual art!  So I made a rule that we all seriously had to try our hardest so I wouldn’t cop out and make a garbage pumpkin.

Travis and I both got very, very secretive about our pumpkin plans and didn’t want anyone to see what either of us was working on.

When it came time for the big reveal, mine was an epic dedication to our love (1 month married!):

And Travis’s was… well… Travis’s

I’m going to go ahead and classify this as an epic dedication to our love as well, because I really, really, really liked this movie.

All of our masterpieces:

Our darling hosts, with a full baked baby.  (Full of baby and Ali had a chili and cornbread feast with pumpkin spice cupcakes for dessert.  Too cute.)

I hope you all get to experience the unbridled joy that is pumpkin carving with your pals… it’s a spooktacular treat!!!

Bye!