Gift Guide: What to buy for me (Part I)

Tis the season, guys!  Everyone makes holiday gift guides, but I’m not that great at doing that kind of thing (I don't know what dads want.  Who knows what dads want?!), but I was still inspired to try my hand at it, so I decided to stick with what I know.

So I present to you: A Gift Guide, for me.  That’s not crass at all, right?  Basically a list of stuff I want.  But I'm imagining it's also stuff you might want.  So in the end, we're getting right back to the spirit of the season: wanting stuff!

Ready?  Here we go!  

Hudson Bay Blanket

I know what you’re thinking.  “Joanna, that blanket is FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS.  You are a monster!”  And to that, I say: Look, I said this was a crass display of gluttony.  I refuse to apologize.  But do you know the storied history of Hudson Bay blankets?  Early American settlers traded them to Native Americans for beaver pelts!  This is part of our history as Americans!  Also it is bound to be a family heirloom.  You can’t put a price on that!  (Or you can, and it’s $400-ish.)

Also, a “cheaper” version here, by Pendleton, which I feel is fairly legit because even though it’s not original gangsta like Hudson Bay, Pendleton is a renowned maker of woolens.

LL Bean Wicked Good Moccasins

Yes please.  I have fond memories of the LL Bean and Land’s End catalogues (I’m lumping them together… I have no idea what the difference is between the two) because as a kid, they were some of the only catalogues that came, and I loved me some catalogue play-time.  Now that I have resided long enough at my residence to get on random catalogue mailing lists (grown-up stuff!), I get my very one once again!  I have a feeling everything in the LL Bean/Lands End catalogues is odd and oversized and boxy and generally ill fitting (even though I sort of really want a classic barn jacket), but shoes are going to fit like shoes, right?  And these slippers look really cozy.  I am imagining myself making waffles in these and then reading a book on the couch while Travis watches football.  Then I also imagine that I decide to walk to Peet’s to grab some coffee and think “These are so comfy and cute – I’m not going to take them off!” and feel really cozy until I get into the store and feel ridiculous for wearing slippers in public.  Remind me not to do that, guys.

Yubz Retro Handset Extension

Oh, hi there!  Let me just lay back on the couch so I can catch up with you on the phone, enjoy our conversation, and look darling… all while totally not getting brain cancer!  (You plug this into your cell phone as a handset.)  Gwyneth Paltrow featured this in Goop’s gift guide, and I love it.  I pretty sure it would become a clunky item that I'd forget to use and don’t know where to put away, but the thought of it reminds me of being in middle school, sprawled on a couch or bed or floor patch gabbing away on the phone.

Stanley Thermos

I am feeling convinced that if I toted my soup to work in this thermos, I’d be much more excited to bring lunch and I’d look really cool.  Like that chick who’s all “Oh, this?  Yeah, I’m always on the go.  I made an amazing soup last night from scratch…. just bringing the leftovers for lunch today.  I guess that’s what I do when I’m not on spontaneous camping trips with my friends or watching hip documentaries at home or going to underground concerts late at night on school nights but still come to work looking fresh as a daisy… you guys have no idea what a cool life I live outside of here!  …Gotta run, time for soup!”

Lululemon Astro Pant

I know.  It’s a $100 sweat pant, basically.  But you really look 200% better than you do in a $33 sweat pant.  I promise.  I like the leg opening… not a flare, but not a legging… because as much as I like the idea of wearing a long legging… without the aid of boots over them, they make everyone’s body look strange and mis-shapen, right?

Oh, PS -- more coming.  (You didn't think this was all I wanted, right?)  Stay tuned.