Happy Valentine's Day!

It's the big day, folks. Valentine's Day.

Let's see how I did against my "to do" list:

Do something sweet 'n crafty
Not yet, but the day is young... those paper hearts will probably come out at some point...

Send Valentines to your friends
Check

Bake some heart shaped cookies
Check

Don't make it about gifts
Yup. I already returned the stuff to Home Depot for my sweetheart.

Wear red and/or pinks and/or hearts
I wore my heart sweater already this week, so today I'm wearing my pink and red striped sweater.

Don't try to go to a restaurant
I won't.

Call your mom
I will.

My plan for tonight is to make a simple dinner and eat dinner at the table (not watching TV), but then, once dinner is done, watch TV. (Duh.)

What are your plans?

Valentine's Day Tip List

Valentine's Day is basically my favorite holiday. I know most people do not share that feeling, so I thought I'd share my Valentine's Day rules to live by, so maybe you'll feel some of the love, and avoid some of the annoying.

:: cute closet filled with surprise balloons, via oh happy day ::

Do something sweet 'n crafty
I love the picture above of a surprise avalanche of heart balloons falling out of the closet. Here are a ton more cute ideas like that.

A bajillion years ago, I hand cut out a bunch of tiny little hearts from pink and red paper. (I have no idea why I decided to do it, but I distinctly remember that this took place at work. I can't believe I got away with that.) Every year, the confetti hearts come out to decorate the breakfast or dinner table, and they're just a silly and sweet gesture.

Send Valentines to your friends
Valentine's Day is all about saying "Hey! I totally like/love you! You're a real sweetheart! Did ya know that?"... so why not send a little love in the mail to people who deserve to hear that?

I had high hopes of making cards again this year, but it just didn't happen, so I broke down and bought some cute cards. These guys are a really cute inexpensive option that I highly recommend. (The envelopes are a pain, so I would recommend just using other envelopes.)

Bake some heart shaped cookies
It's a verified fact that hearts are the cutest shapes in the world. Give me anything heart shaped or with a heart on it, and I love it. Except for a sterling silver necklace with tiny diamonds in it that a high school guy buys for his girlfriend. That I do not want. So, cute classy hearts only, please.

I want to bake some heart shaped shortbread and top with red or pink sugar. But I only want to eat two cookies, so I'll bring the rest to work.

Don't make it about gifts
Gift exchanges make the day stressful. If you're going to do a gift, make it sweet and inexpensive. Or free and thoughtful. (I think I'm going to tell Travis that I'll run the errand of returning something to Home Depot as a gift, because I know he really, really doesn't want to. Shh... don't spoil it!)

Wear red and/or pink and/or hearts on February 14
Just do it. Because it's fun. Yes, it's a little Zooey Deschanel-y precious, but do it anyway. I'm probably going to wear this sweater so, yeah, I'm all in, guys. 

Don't try to go to a restaurant
Don't even think about it. One year I thought it would be fun to do the whole Valentine's Day thing and go to a not cool steakhouse. It was a disaster. We were seated 60 minutes late and the service was terrible. Don't get cute and think low-key will be better: I've also been to In-n-Out on Valentine's Day, and it's crazy crowded. If you're ordering pizza or Thai food (THAI FOOD YUMMMMM), be prepared for it to take way longer than normal.

Call your mom
Wish Mom a happy Valentine's Day! Because as I said earlier, it's just a day to be a real sweetheart.


What do you like to do on February 14th?

What to Put in a Stocking

Stockings are under-ratedly tough to do right. When people think stockings, the normal sentiment is "Oh, stockings! They're so fun and easy! Just put in lotsa lil' stuff!"

:: image via pinterest ::

But if you want to do a stocking right, like, "Omg, this stocking is full of good, useful, cool stuff!" it takes a bit more thought.

Speaking on behalf of all ladies, here are 10 things I think we'd all be happy to find in our stockings:
1. A pair of black opaque tights
2. A couple pairs of whatever nicer underwear we tend to wear
3. A pair of athletic socks
4. A good lip balm, like maybe this Fresh one, this Kiehl's one, or a nice shea butter one
5. A book you heard was good that you think we might like
6. A splurge-y special nail polish (aaaah all the colors are so good it's killing me!)
7. An ultra fine-tipped Sharpie and a metallic gold Sharpie
8. A Toblerone bar
9. A mix CD (or some burned CDs you think we might like)
10. A pack of these soft hair ties

What did I miss? What else would make a great stocking stuffer?

Also: Do you wrap gifts that go in stockings? My family always did! We'd wrap even the tiniest thing. Going through the process of unwrapping everything was part of the fun. When I went to spend Christmas with my husband's family I was in shock to learn they didn't! Apparently lots of people don't wrap stocking stuffers. Where do you stand?

P.S. I looooved this post about 10 great things to give. (Don't worry - it's actual things. Not, like, "appreciation." That doesn't count.)

3 Tips to Get Better at Awkward Small Talk

You guys: this is a major Christmas party weekend coming up. And you know what that means: small talk. Ugh.

At a social gathering, I'd always rather just have a long conversation in the corner with a good friend than meet someone new (or someone I don't know well at all) and have to go through all the awkward motions.  Let's face it: it's hard to be friendly at sociable at a party with people you don't really know.  But on the other hand, if it works, it's so fun to make a few friend and feel like you've connected with somebody.

It's important to get comfortable with small talk for 3 reasons:
1. It's polite and nice.
2. You can't make new friends without putting yourself out there through conversation, and it usually needs to start small.
3. We're adults and need to figure this out. Seriously, guys.

:: January Jones being charming at a party, via pinterest ::

I've made an effort to try to improve at the art of small talk over the last year, and I'd like to share some tips with you:

1. Find a small talk role model
Who in your life always seems to handle social situations with warmth and grace and seems friendly and easy to talk to? Stalk that person! Or at least observe him/her when you're in a social situation together. What does he/she do? Body language? Tone? Conversation starters?

My personal role model always seems genuinely to happy to see people... and who can resist when someone is delighted that you're there? It automatically fosters a sense of warmth and familiarity, even if the basis isn't there. Starting with friendliness is a small talk lubricant.

2. Change your mind-set. 
It's not awkward to make small talk, it's a universal kindness. (Remember, the person you hardly know in this conversation probably isn't super-excited to figure out how to talk to you, either.) You are doing a huge social favor by putting yourself out there and helping to move the conversation along.

3. Come prepared.  
It sounds calculated, but come ready with some easy questions you ask. I'll give you a really easy one for this weekend:
What are you doing for the holidays?

Boom. It's so easy. Yes, it's obvious, but it opens things up really easily! You'll find out where people are from, what their families are like, what their holiday traditions are, etc.

I like to avoid asking any question I wouldn't enjoy answering. Those include "So, what have you been up to lately?" and "What do you do for a living?"


So there: you have all my wisdom. How do you handle weird small talk? What are your tips?

Tip Tuesday: Holiday Tipping

This is the time of year when a bunch of articles pop up about holiday tipping etiquette.

These always freak me out at first, because there seems to be a really long list of people who I supposedly owe $100, until I realize I don't have many service providers who are the tip recipient type. (Uh, no Emily Post. I don't have a regular massage therapist, physical trainer, pool cleaner, or doorman.)

:: image via pinterest ::

If you do have regular service providers, the standard guide seems to be "pay an extra time". So, ideally, you'd tip:
- your housekeeper: whatever you pay for a cleaning visit
- your hair stylist: double the tip your normally leave
- your regular babysitter: what you generally pay for a night of services

Pretty straight forward. And expensive. Sigh.

Also, it seems like every year I hear people talk about tipping mail carriers. Heads up, folks: they are federal employees. They can't accept cash or gift cards. (Only gifts clearly under $20 in value or a snack/treat.)

Remember: be a sweetheart of a tipper -- always include a handwritten note with your tip expressing gratitude for services provided throughout the year.

Emily Post's full tipping guide is here.

Who will you be tipping this season?

Tip Tuesday: A New Way to Think About Holiday Eating

Every internet visit this time of year seems to feature a lot of articles about ways to avoid gaining weight over the holidays.  ("Make a plan before you go out!", "Only allow yourself one dessert!", "Station yourself near the veggie platter!", "Eat before you go!")

I recently read an interesting tip that was initially about weight loss generally, but I thought could be a good intention to set for the month of December.

Instead of making rules around what you can't eat, just make sure to eat 6 servings of fruits and vegetables a day.

Back when I was doing my cleanse last February, I followed the same standards, and I noticed that it kind of forces you into healthy choices because it takes effort to eat 6 servings of produce.  If it's 3pm and you realize you haven't had any fruits or vegetables that day, you're going to reach for a piece of fruit instead of a holiday cookie because you've got numbers to hit!

I'm sure this concept wouldn't work for everyone, but I know I'm much better motivated by positive choices rather than deprivation rules.

What do you think?  Would this work for you?

Tip Tuesday: Make This Amazing Hot Spiced Cider

Okay, this isn't a tip, in the traditional "quick 'n easy tips!" sense, but this is a tip that will change the way you are seen by others this holiday season.  (Namely, you will be seen as the person who makes the best hot spiced cider ever.)

You guys: next social gathering this season, you must make this awesome hot spiced cider from the really great ladies over at Apples & Onions. 

:: yum! pic from apples & onions ::

I've made this three (three!) times in the last month, and it's a massive hit.

Warning: Don't even think about making this if you don't want the house to smell amazing!

You can follow the recipe as written at the link, but I've made a few adjustments and made it a double batch, so my version is as follows:

Hot Spiced Cider
(serves a small crowd)
1 gallon fresh pressed apple juice (I get two of the half gallons of the refrigerated apple juice from Trader Joes -  yum!)
2 organic apples*
2 organic oranges*
juice of two lemons
4 cinnamon sticks
a palm-full of whole cloves
+ some booze to have on the side

* Since the rind of these fruits is simmering into the cider, it's good to get organic.

Begin to gently heat the apple juice on the stove.  Add the lemon juice and cinnamon sticks.  Zest one of the oranges into the cider mixture.  Stud the apples and oranges (including the one you zested) with the cloves by pushing the pointy narrow end into the fruit.  Add them to the cider.  Once it is hot and delicious smelling, you're good to go!

You can add in the alcohol, but I prefer to leave it to the side of the stove so people can self-spike and it's a kid/non-drinker friendly beverage.  (I left a bottle of whiskey and dark rum out at Thanksgiving.)

Luck o the Irish

Top o the mornin' to you!

When Irish eyes are smiling!

Other Irish things!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Please dye some food green this weekend!

"Happy Leap Day"?

This picture is a real scroll down pic...

This guy is literally LEAPING on leap day.

Question: When did people start saying "Happy Leap Day"?  I heard that a lot today.  Has that always been a thing?  I don't remember that from 2008.  Anyway, I dig this sheep.

Happy-almost-Valentine's-Day

Why people always be hating on Valentine's Day so much?  It's not breaking news that it can be a totally crass commercialized holiday that has prix fixe menus, creepy long stem dark red roses, and leave people feeling generally disappointment (Couldn't he get a card?  I mean seriously, just a card?!).

But guys, it's also a fun fake holiday that's all about pink, red, white, hearts, cutesy stuff, love, hugs, kisses, yummy food, chocolates, and treats.  I mean!!!!!!!  So fun!!!  If I weren't mid-cleanse (more on that later (this week, I hope)), I would totally have made some really cute baked goods to bring into work.

Instead, though, I found the tiny bit of crafty that lives deep inside me and made some valentines to send to friends.

This is my favorite one:

:: front ::

:: inside ::

xoxo!

Gift Guide: What to Buy for Me (Part II)

I initially called the "stuff I want" post Part I of many.  You'll never believe this, but I actually wasn't coming up with more stuff I wanted.  But I realized I needed to be a woman of my word and not leave you hanging when I said I would deliver.  So, without further ado, more cool stuff!

Color Wheel Umbrella, $24

I love this rainbow umbrella.  I've always liked them, but have only seen those in those humongo golf-sized versions.  Who is carrying those huge umbrellas, by the way, who is not insane?  "Looks like it's raining!  Let me grab this huge thing that is pointy, cumbersome and literally an entire yard long!  Easy breezy!"  Anyway, here's one in a practical size.  Yay.

Jonathan Adler Peace Bookends, $195

Honestly?  There's not much to say.  Super groovy to the maximum amount possible.

Caitlin McGauley prints, $75

I love Caitlin McGauley's fun, preppy watercolors.  Seeing them makes me pretend like my life is much more glamorous and together than it is. I like the idea of hanging one of them with a large off-white mat and a thin, simple dark wood frame alone on a wall painted in a supercool color.  Yay, pretend life!

J. Crew monogrammed sweaters, $100-$200-ish

Since I got married and changed my name, I've become convinced that the quickest way to acclimate to a new name is to get tons of cute monogrammed stuff.  I mean, the logic is sound, right?  

Reading is Fundamental, donation

Look, I'm being a good person!  This organization sounds awesome.  I first read about it here.  This group promotes literacy in high-poverty areas by providing new books to children.  As you probably know by now, I'm basically obsessed with reading, and I can't have imagined my childhood without books.  The statistic above is sobering.  Sounds like a great place to make a holiday contribution.

Bye!

Christmas Music: Album Recommendations

A follow up from Tara re: Christmas music:

If you find your thirst for Xmas music merely whetted by this mix, allow me to recommend some full albums.  (Some of the songs on the above mix are what I might call “One Hit Winter Wonderlanders”--either the artist recorded just one song for a compilation album, or the rest of the record is simply not worth buying.)  But these guys are all worth checking out:

MODERN CLASSICS

• Merry Christmas by Mariah Carey - A modern classic in the truest sense of the word.  Can you believe those high notes on O Holy Night??  Xmas miracle, seriously.
• The Beach Boys’ Christmas Album by The Beach Boys - No bad songs on this oldie-but-goodie.  Retro-cool!
• Handel’s Messiah - This one is really more of an ACTUAL classic, seeing as how it was composed in 1742.  One of my favorite holiday traditions involves attending a “sing-along Messiah” event.  Or, as my friends and I refer to it, “singin’ about Jesus.”   If you like choral/classical music, you can’t go wrong here.  If you get really into it, you can buy a score and sing along!  Includes such favorites as “All We Like Sheep” and “Behold, A Virgin Shall Concieve.”  Your grandmas and/or religious aunties will approve.

INDIE XMAS

• Songs for Christmas by Sufjan Stevens - If you already like Sufjan, you will surely enjoy this massive 2-disc compilation of holiday-ish music.
• A Very She & Him Christmas by She & Him - My first Xmas album purchase of 2011, and it’s a keeper!  Their retro-twee sound really complements the selection of traditional Xmas songs.  Love it.
• Christmas by Low - Simply beautiful.  Good for a mellow cocktail party or snuggling by the fire with a mug of special egg nog.
• Noel and Joy by Oh, Starling - Adorable arrangements of traditional Xmas songs, with harmonies.
• Snow Angels by Over The Rhine - These guys sometimes edge perilously close to “smooth jazz,” but holy wassail, Karin Bergquist sure does have a beautiful voice!

UNCLASSIFIABLE

• Christmas in the Heart by Bob Dylan - For the true Dylan fan, or alternatively, for a good laugh.  One NPR reviewer made the observation that Dylan has an uncanny ability to make “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” sound like a threat.  Indeed.

Gifts for Moms!

A friend asks:
What kind of things do you get your mom for Christmas?  I am always thinking of good things for dad (mostly books), but mom is harder.

In response, I say:
Happy to help out!  I'm pretty good at moms.  Also, I can't believe you find it easy to shop for your dad.  Wow.

Okay, here's how I think about mom gifts: I basically get my mom stuff I want, that would also be mom appropriate.  So it's kind of like shopping for yourself, only you buy it and then give it away.

Most moms think their daughters are pretty cool ladies (...right, Mom?), so it's nice when you get your mom a gift that isn't just a "mom gift" but something cool that you can get excited about together.  Especially if it's "Omigod, I also got one for myself... it's totally the best!"  That proves that it's not just a mom gift, but a legitimate gift that you think is great.

So without further ado... here are 12 ideas for mom gifts!

Accessories

geo print $48

I've gotten my mom a few scarves in the past... I just think about what colors she tends to wear and stick to that family.  I like a lighter weight that can be worn year-round with a lot of different shades featured so it can match more outfits.  Rectangles tend to be easier to wear than squares.  Nordstrom always has a lot of nice options in the $30-$60 range.

hobo international "nancy - lunch" multifunction wallet $98

Sometimes moms carry wallets for a long time and don't notice that they are getting really beat up.  What a perfect opportunity for a daughter to sweep in and refresh her wallet for her!  This can also be a fun time to get an unexpected, fresh color, since it's not something that's always visible, but can be a fun pick-me-up insider her purse.  Before buying, think about what size wallet she tends to carry, since this is usually a matter of personal taste.  I like this fun bright one.

tom's yellow pop herringbone $54

My mom turned me onto Tom's, and I am obsessed.  They are way more comfortable than I imagined (arch support!), and I love that they don't require socks.  Now you can turn your mom onto them!  This pair's bright yellow sole makes me smile.

For the Home

envirosax bloom pouch $39.95

I know I've already talked about how much I like envirosax, but I really like them and would give them to my mom if I hadn't already gifted her with a set a few years ago.  They fold up small, are washable, and the straps are the perfect length to comfortably put over your shoulder or hold by your side.

perfex pepper mill $80

Yet again, an item I've gotten for my mom (and she loves it).  Now I want one for myself!  It doesn't require you to twist your wrist as many pepper grinders do, so if your mom has wrist issues, this definitely a keeper.

berard olive wood salt keeper $48.95

As long as you're giving the pepper a makeover, you might as well give the salt a little class, too!  What a lovely piece to keep by the stove.

calligraphy return address stamp $52

A beautiful return address stamp makes corresponding so much more fun and elegant.  These are all over etsy (in the $20-$60) range, but this one is especially pretty.  Practical moms may prefer a self-inking variety, though.

Ici Silicone Tools $10 - $39.95

A few years ago, I took it upon myself to fill my mom's stocking with a refreshed set of kitchen utensils.  Hers were looking pretty worse for the wear, and having spent so much time with them, she didn't notice.  I kept seeing so many cute ones in cheery colors and thought my mom deserved some.  The ones above are from Williams-Sonoma, but there's no need to pay full price -- any Marshall's, TJ Maxx or Home Goods should have a great variety in the $2-$6 range.


Beauty

chanel eyeshadow illusion d'ombre $36 

If I find a great beauty product that's fool-proof and a great value, I love to spread the good word!  I think my mom would love wearing this easy to apply (I use my finger) eyeshadow that shimmers in a classy way, stays on all day and never creases.  (Magic!)

josie maran argan oil 1.7oz $48

Moms aren't always the best at splurging for themselves, so a basic product that feels great can be just the little something she might like to feel just as special as you know she is.  Every gal who's gotten her paws on Josie Maran's Argan Oil knows what I'm talking about.

Reading

Hunger Games Trilogy $31

I learned to love to read because of my mom.  I always try to pass along whatever books I've been loving lately.  And as you know, I've been loving this trilogy lately.  I just passed it onto my mom, and she is having a blast with it!  (Moms also like normal grown-up books too.)

cook's illustrated subscription $24.96

A magazine subscription can be a nice monthly reminder of your love.  I know my mom has enjoyed Cook's Illustrated.  New York Magazine is also a fun (weekly!) read... like The New Yorker but easier to digest, but still smart.

And there you have it!  Everything I know about giving things to moms.

Bye!

The Ultimate Christmas Music Mix

I am so excited to present my first ever guest blog post, by my dear friend Tara.  Tara is totally qualified to speak to the wonders of Christmas music because (a) she loves Christmas, (b) she loves music, (c) she lives in Alaska, which is literally a winter wonderland.


So without further ado... here we go!

Happy Holidays, guys!  Joey asked me to do a guest blog post about Xmas music, knowing as she does how completely and unironically I adore this genre of music.  I was thrilled to do so, not least because it gave me a rock solid excuse to listen to Xmas music with abandon before Thanksgiving to perfect my mix.  The only misgivings I ever have about the arrival of Xmas music season is that it means my local Lite Rock station starts playing all holiday songs!!!  Why must my enjoyment of one completely uncool genre of music over the airwaves come at the expense of another?  Woe is me!

But I digress.  I made you guys a totally sweet Xmas music mix!  I am hoping it will expose you to some Xmas music with which you may not already be familiar.  All of songs on my mix are by “modern” artists (i.e. Frightened Rabbit) or otherwise “cool” artists (i.e. Johnny Cash).  I am not giving you any Mannheim Steamroller or Vienna Boys’ Choir--I am about to go all Xmas-music-snob on all y’all.  

Now, my Xmas mix may not be to everyone’s liking.  A lot of people say they don’t like Xmas music at all--but really, Xmas music is just like any other type of music--there is good Xmas music, and there is bad.  In fact, it’s even harder to lump all Xmas music in together, because although the themes may all be the same, there is a wide variety in genre in style.  (Saying you hate Xmas music isn’t like saying you hate country music or rap music--it’s more like saying you hate all songs about love.  How could you say such a thing??  You are a heartless individual.)

Even if you DO tend to like Xmas music, you may need some time to adjust to the modern songs, or you may never really accept these modern songs as being evocative of Xmas.  You may want nothing but nostalgia from your Xmas music, i.e. songs that were playing on your parents’ record player when you were a kiddo and--spoiler alert!--still believed in Santa Claus.  (This is, incidentally, an approach to music that transcends the Xmas genre... some people, at some point, simply stop taking real pleasure in discovering and falling in love with new music.  If you still persist in listening to Dave Matthews Band, you may be one of those people.  I still love you though!)

To you folk I say: you are missing out!  There is so much beautiful modern Xmas music.  And just think, if you play this music for your kiddos, they will learn to love it and identify it with their wonderful Xmases, just like we did with Merry Christmas Baby and Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), which were relatively new when we were young but are now totally classic!  I now get the same fuzzy-holiday-family-snowy-cookie-tinsely feelings from Low’s beautiful “Just Like Christmas” and the ridiculous yet sublime “Hooray for Santy Claus” as I do from the majestic “O Holy Night” and the annoying yet quintessential “The Chipmunk Song.”

A side note on mix-making more generally.  First, I believe all mixes should have a title, and I like to draw my title from a somewhat random lyric in one of the songs on the mix.  Listen for it!  Second, I believe all mixes should be kept to 1h20m or less because I believe you should be able to burn it to a CD and hand it to somebody, all old-school-like.  Also, keeping the mix to a set length forces you to curate the mix more carefully!  Finally, the website where I posted the mix, 8Tracks, will let you listen to the whole mix all the way through in order once, but you’re only allowed to “skip” a couple of songs while listening, and the second time you listen, it will put the tracks in random order--annoying, because I have METICULOUSLY chosen this order of tracks for the perfect listening experience.
With that, here is my gift to you this holiday season--my Ultimate Xmas Mix.  Don’t you DARE wait till Christmas morning to open it!  

Here’s the track listing:

1 // Cry Cry Christmas | The Sweptaways Feat. Magnus Carlson & The Gray Brigade | 3:26
2 // Christmas Day | She & Him | 3:24
3 // Just Like Christmas | Low | 3:08
4 // Merry Christmas, Baby | The Beach Boys | 2:27
5 // It Came Upon A Midnight Clear | Oh, Starling | 4:25
6 // Christmas In Prison | John Prine | 3:13
7 // Santa Claus Is Coming to Town | Mason Jennings | 2:09
8 // Away In A Manger | Sufjan Stevens | 2:54
9 // Be My Valentine On Christmas | Glenna Bell | 3:12
10 // Darlin' (Christmas is Coming) | Over The Rhine | 3:35
11 // Maybe This Christmas | Ron Sexsmith | 1:53
12 // All I Want For Christmas Is You | Mariah Carey | 4:01
13 // Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) | Darlene Love | 2:50
14 // I'd Like To Have An Elephant For Christmas | Hank Thompson | 2:03
15 // O Come, O Come, Emmanuel | Belle & Sebastian | 3:27
16 // Joy To The World | Clem Snide | 2:28
17 // All I Ever Get For Christmas Is Blue | Over The Rhine | 4:25
18 // God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen | Bright Eyes | 1:52
19 // 2000 Miles | The Everyothers | 3:23
20 // Little Gray Donkey | Johnny Cash | 4:43
21 // Christmas Tree On Fire | Holly Golightly | 2:54
22 // Happy Christmas (War is Over) | The Polyphonic Spree | 4:18
23 // Hooray for Santy Claus | Senor Tonto Christmas Combo | 2:03
24 // Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas | Scissors For Lefty | 2:26
25 // Auld Lang Syne | Martin Sexton | 2:29

Gift Guide: What to buy for me (Part I)

Tis the season, guys!  Everyone makes holiday gift guides, but I’m not that great at doing that kind of thing (I don't know what dads want.  Who knows what dads want?!), but I was still inspired to try my hand at it, so I decided to stick with what I know.

So I present to you: A Gift Guide, for me.  That’s not crass at all, right?  Basically a list of stuff I want.  But I'm imagining it's also stuff you might want.  So in the end, we're getting right back to the spirit of the season: wanting stuff!

Ready?  Here we go!  

Hudson Bay Blanket

I know what you’re thinking.  “Joanna, that blanket is FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS.  You are a monster!”  And to that, I say: Look, I said this was a crass display of gluttony.  I refuse to apologize.  But do you know the storied history of Hudson Bay blankets?  Early American settlers traded them to Native Americans for beaver pelts!  This is part of our history as Americans!  Also it is bound to be a family heirloom.  You can’t put a price on that!  (Or you can, and it’s $400-ish.)

Also, a “cheaper” version here, by Pendleton, which I feel is fairly legit because even though it’s not original gangsta like Hudson Bay, Pendleton is a renowned maker of woolens.

LL Bean Wicked Good Moccasins

Yes please.  I have fond memories of the LL Bean and Land’s End catalogues (I’m lumping them together… I have no idea what the difference is between the two) because as a kid, they were some of the only catalogues that came, and I loved me some catalogue play-time.  Now that I have resided long enough at my residence to get on random catalogue mailing lists (grown-up stuff!), I get my very one once again!  I have a feeling everything in the LL Bean/Lands End catalogues is odd and oversized and boxy and generally ill fitting (even though I sort of really want a classic barn jacket), but shoes are going to fit like shoes, right?  And these slippers look really cozy.  I am imagining myself making waffles in these and then reading a book on the couch while Travis watches football.  Then I also imagine that I decide to walk to Peet’s to grab some coffee and think “These are so comfy and cute – I’m not going to take them off!” and feel really cozy until I get into the store and feel ridiculous for wearing slippers in public.  Remind me not to do that, guys.

Yubz Retro Handset Extension

Oh, hi there!  Let me just lay back on the couch so I can catch up with you on the phone, enjoy our conversation, and look darling… all while totally not getting brain cancer!  (You plug this into your cell phone as a handset.)  Gwyneth Paltrow featured this in Goop’s gift guide, and I love it.  I pretty sure it would become a clunky item that I'd forget to use and don’t know where to put away, but the thought of it reminds me of being in middle school, sprawled on a couch or bed or floor patch gabbing away on the phone.

Stanley Thermos

I am feeling convinced that if I toted my soup to work in this thermos, I’d be much more excited to bring lunch and I’d look really cool.  Like that chick who’s all “Oh, this?  Yeah, I’m always on the go.  I made an amazing soup last night from scratch…. just bringing the leftovers for lunch today.  I guess that’s what I do when I’m not on spontaneous camping trips with my friends or watching hip documentaries at home or going to underground concerts late at night on school nights but still come to work looking fresh as a daisy… you guys have no idea what a cool life I live outside of here!  …Gotta run, time for soup!”

Lululemon Astro Pant

I know.  It’s a $100 sweat pant, basically.  But you really look 200% better than you do in a $33 sweat pant.  I promise.  I like the leg opening… not a flare, but not a legging… because as much as I like the idea of wearing a long legging… without the aid of boots over them, they make everyone’s body look strange and mis-shapen, right?

Oh, PS -- more coming.  (You didn't think this was all I wanted, right?)  Stay tuned.