2013 to-do: See a scary movie

I am totally scared of scary movies. I know lots of people love the horror/paranormal genre, but it just freaks me the f out, and in a traumatic way, not a fun way.

Honestly, I don't even know that I've seen any scary movies. (Does Scream count? Or was that more just a cultural phenomenon? Because I saw that one. PS - It was scary! Even with Courteney Cox.)

It seems that a lot of people like scary movies because you get all riled up, but then know that the premises are so absurd that there's nothing to worry about. I have a hard time with the second part. After seeing Rosemary's Baby in college, I remember crying from fear and genuinely asking my boyfriend: "Do you promise not to sell your soul to the devil and in exchange let the devil rape me to impregnate me with devil spawn and then let everyone trick me into letting me think that I'm nuts? Do you???"

Anyway, I want to enjoy this genre! It seems fun! But I'm... a-sceeeerrrrrrrrred! So I decided to make one of my 2013 "to-do"s be to see a scary movie (maybe, just maybe, more than one).

This new movie Mama looks pretty spook-tacular! And it stars Jessica Chastain (who I like) and Jamie Lannister (!!!! who I LOVE!), so maybe that means it's also pretty good? What do you think?

Do you like scary movies? Any ideas on how I should tackle this undertaking? Start in movie theaters or at home? Will I have nightmares?

Rainy Weekend

Yay!  I've been hoping for a rainy weekend because it makes it feel okay to be a lazy bones.

With the exception going for an epic-ly long run (I almost cried at the end, it was so long), after which I met two favorite friends for a fun brunch, I lazy bones-ed it up big times.

Some highlights:

1. Watching two (two!) movies, thanks to screeners my husband had...

Flight
Guys, go see it!  I totally liked it.  With the exception of the really good special effects, this movie totally could have been made in 1996, and I mean that as a compliment.  (Weren't the mid-90s like the Golden Age of Cinema for our generation?)  It was just missing Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts.

This is 40
"This is 40"?  More like "This is What Happens When You Are Successful And People Don't Say No to You So Can't Evaluate if Your Ideas are Good or Not".  Zing!  (Travis had a better pitch: "This is 40... out of 100")

This is how I think this movie got made: Judd and Leslie were out to dinner with some industry friends, telling a story about their kids being adorable and precocious but also driving them nuts (kids!), and their friends went "OMG, this is SO FUNNY.  Seriously, you guys have to write all this down and turn it into a movie!  I'm so serious!"  And then they did.  Without thinking about how a movie should be, like, interesting and maybe have a point.

To be fair, there were a few things I liked in this movie:

• Performances by Iris Apatow, Charlene Yi and Melissa McCarthy
• The whole thing took place in our neighborhood, so it was fun to see where they shot certain scenes
• A few funny moments that felt authentic

But overall, don't go see this.  I was really excited when we got this screener, but listen to me: you don't need to.  It's not very good, and it's very annoying.

Actually, I hope some of you see this so we can get together and talk about what specifically was so annoying about it.  I have theories.

2. Wearing these Lululemon sweatpants all weekend...

My Christmas wish for all of you is that you could have these pants and wear them all the time.  They are so comfortable and snuggly.  (They are mostly sold out online, but they have a few sizes left.)  Yes, they are a very bizarre cut with a gathered elastic ankle, but that is a huge component of what makes them so fantastic to wear.

3. Four episodes of Law & Order: SVU...

These episodes were all from season 2.  Different characters!  Different Mariska haircuts!  I am so glad I got hooked on this show!

4. Sunday New York Times with some especially ridiculous articles...

This Jude Law feature was my favorite.  The article spent a lot of time talking about how Jude Law is 40 now, and what a relief it is for Jude not to be a young pretty boy anymore... Now his looks are fading (I'm serious; this is the article), and he can really just relax and focus on being an actor without the burden of being handsome and stuff, since now he's old and gross.

And then it goes on to show many different pictures of Jude Law looking very, very handsome, per usual.  Amazing.

How did you spend the first December weekend of the year?

"Help" Me Out (hahaha)

Guys.  I just recently watched "The Help".  (I'm late to the party, but for those of you who haven't seen it yet, it's totally good!  I found the book sort of annoying, but the movie not annoying.)  But to get to my point: how can you cast two actresses who are literally identical twins in the same movie and not expect my mind to explode????

:: Jessica Chastain ::

:: Bryce Dallas Howard ::

My mind is exploding.  This is way crazier than Zooey Deschanel/Katy Perry.  This is real-life science fiction.

My Favorite Muppet Clip

Just saw the new muppet movie last night.  It's totally good-cute, guys.  Definitely worth checking out.

And it made me remember this, my favorite muppet clip of all time:

Don't you love this?  How do you aggressively kiss a muppet?  And isn't it amazing how there's, like, actual chemistry between Charles Grodin and Miss Piggy?  Love.

One of the sexiest moments in all cinematic history... am I right, ladies?  Meow!

Hunger Games Map. Yay!

Guys, it took 11 months of telling everyone I knew to read The Hunger Games trilogy, but finally, everyone I know is reading it/has read it.  THANK YOU, GUYS.  FINALLY.  I TOLD YOU IT WAS GOOD!  This great news is especially timely, because since the trailer came out for the movie (March 23 is so in my calendar), I’ve re-gone through that phase where basically all I want to talk about is The Hunger Games to anyone who will converse with me.  

Hungergameshungergameshungergameshungergames!

When my husband read the books (finally!), he gently but firmly told me: “Look, I know you want to be Katniss.  But… it would never happen.  You would be Rue.  Or Prim.  Or actually… maybe the Game Maker [Seneca Crane].”  All of which I’ll take.  Gladly.

But guys, I have a fun HG treat for you, straight from the magic of the world wide web: a fan art map of Panem!  No idea if it’s accurate, but it seems pretty good, and I am really enjoying it. 

Maria Rizzoni, I love you, whoever you are.


In case you need a refresher on which district does what:

District 1- Luxury

District 2- Masonry 
District 3- Electronics 
District 4- Fishing 
District 5- Power 
District 6- Transportation 
District 7- Lumber 
District 8- Textiles 
District 9- Grain 
District 10- Livestock 
District 11- Agriculture 
District 12- Coal Mining 

And if you live under a rock and haven’t seen it (or are just a normal person who’s already obsessed and wants to see it again), here’s the trailer:

If I were in charge of this movie’s ad campaign, it would probably be this:

Hunger Games: Guys, KIDZ KILLING KIDZ.  You guys.  Hunger Games.

More Time Consuming Art!

My friend Tara sent me this great example of weird time-consuming art, for which I have a deep love.

Okay, check out this picture.

Guess what?  It's made of something weird.  Can you guess what it is by looking a little closer?

Okay, I'll tell you… It’s made of SPRINKLES.  It took 8 months to make.  

How ridiculous/amazing is this???  (Also, if you’re going to spend 8 months making a piece of sprinkle art… I’m curious as to why this person selected a beagle getting washed as the subject.)

:: All photos from artist Joel Brochu ::

Check out the full story here.  

On a completely unrelated note, I saw “J. Edgar” last night.  Highly recommended if you love movies where young people wear lots of weird age makeup and try to make their voices sound old and do old person shakes a lot.

Bye!